I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
