Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
