I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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