And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
