apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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