oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
