absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
splinters make it hard to masturbate
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
