He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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