Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize