ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
