Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
