i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
