You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize