oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
