Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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