she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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