You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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