similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
