I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
