Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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