we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
