while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
