But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
