Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
