he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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