what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
