I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
