just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
