i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
smell my finger.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize