I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
