Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
