I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
