his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
