I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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