I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
