Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
