I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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