if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
