omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
