i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
