Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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