at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize