There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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