There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
