I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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