omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
