his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
