i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
