I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
