I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
