Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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