I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
third nipple confirmed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
