College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
