i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
