i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
