I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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