i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
