that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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