Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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