I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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