what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
